I took the lock off my son’s door he has to earn my trust after lying to me’

A mum took to Reddit to ask for advice on whether she’d done the right thing by taking the lock of her son’s door after he lied to her – and users were on her side

A mum was left furious after she discovered that her son had been bunking off school and lying about it.

Taking to Reddit, the woman explained that her 16-year-old son has “always struggled with his mental health,” and because of this often skips school.

“I’ve tried everything,” she said. “Private schools, public schools, online schools. Before the year started he told me that he wanted to try public school again and I suggested that was an amazing idea.”

Halfway through the year, she realised he was skipping more days than usual, so she confronted him.

She told him how proud she was that he’s been going into school, but that she’s noticed he hasn’t been going as much, and if there’s anything she can do to help, to let her know.

“He gets very firm, and angry with me and claims that he is not falling into old habits. He’s mad that I suggested he was,” she said.

She gave him the benefit of the doubt until he missed a week straight and had been caught out lying to her about it.

The woman, who is a single mum of three kids, said she has to be at work by 7 a.m, and since he doesn’t start school till 9, she finds it hard to keep an eye on him.

During the three-break, she and her son made a plan on how he was going to back into going to school.

But on the first day back, he’s back to his old tricks.

“Their first day of school rolls around and I happened to wake up a little later than I was supposed to.

“When I ask my other son if his brother got on the bus with him he says ‘no he didn’t.’

“So I go down to his room and knock on the door to which he pretends like he’s not there. The same thing we have done 100 times now.

“So I try to open his door, but he has a lock on it that I gave him as a form of trust. I then knock again and ask if he can come out so we can talk and I am again ignored. The usual routine.

“I then start to get frustrated with this lock on the door.

“Since there is no way I can get in he thinks it’s okay to ignore me and play these games. I felt extremely disrespected and ended up taking the lock off the door.

“He started screaming at me saying that I am ‘taking away his privacy,’ to which I told him having a lock on his door is because I trust him, and it’s a privilege – which knew was the case when I put it on.

“It’s the fact that he uses the lock to get out of things and lie to me when I have made it clear that I don’t want to be lied to, or ignored.”

She concluded her post by asking Reddit users whether she’d gone the wrong away about punishing him, but users assured her she did the right thing.

One person said: “You are doing what a great parent does. You are showing trust, and then letting him show you if that trust was earned or if he wasn’t ready.

“He is not emotionally ready to have a lock on his door. It’s not a matter of his privacy, he is upset that his lies are being caught. This is a blatant and clear breach of the trust that was given to him.

“Taking away the lock is not only a well-balanced response to his lies, but you took the time to talk to him and explain why it was being done.”

Another added: “You tried working with him and he’s not following through.”

A third put: “It sounds like you were trying to be reasonable and he is not putting forth any effort to meet you halfway.”